same old, same old…

my thoughts have been revealing messages

that are all too consistent.

i’m steadily reminiscing

of a great love

that’s seemingly nonexistent.

apparently,

i live in a world filled with illusions —

and i use the words from the dictionary

to come to all of my conclusions.

and at this point,

i’m too fucking close to delusion…

eye see you everywhere

but you aren’t here.

i feel you everywhere

while you’re nowhere near.

i haven’t had control of my emotions

for as long as i can remember.

i’ve been singing of my sadness

like it’s the 3rd of September.

and the way i feel 4 you

hasn’t been more clearer —

the love i know i’m in search of

is facing me right in the mirror.

it just doesn’t get any clearer…

i yearn for you

in ways that i shouldn’t desire.

and i shouldn’t want you to be here

when you have no desire to be.

so i should set you free —

forreal this time…

not for you, because i won’t do it —

but for me.

i will…

learn to

love and let go when needed —

because holding on when the love is gone

will only cause more pain.

continuing to love you

while you no longer love me

will only add more shame

to this fiasco of charades.

but my love ain’t a game…

who dared us

to believe in this possibility?

all we created

was a beautiful catastrophe.

you alone committed travesty.

and lately,

i’ve been listening to the same old melodies —

reminiscing of the ones

you used to play for me.

i wish you would’ve stayed with me.

you know…

same old, same old.